Yesterday, I met with my Board to discuss plans to move forward with DeeCilla Comfort Center (DCC). DCC is my ministry, a nonprofit that will be a place of refuge for survivors of sexual and domestic violence and sex trafficking. Understand, this something I have wanted to do since I was a teenager when I revealed my personal story of abuse, yet at that time did not understand how this idea of helping others would come to fruition.
Here we are thirty years later, after going through years journeying through trials, challenges, sacrifices, training, education, and just every possible preparation you could imagine physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to launch this ministry. Even this past year, was quite painstaking, as I described it to my Board. Year one, building the foundation team and finding that one can trust to place the vision in their hands is a task, I would never want anyone to go through, yet it is necessary. While God would lead me to friends, family, community, church, and organizational leaders with various experiences, one would think it would be easy to land just the right mix of individuals as those I was led to were all passionate about the work we were set to do. Well, at least those were the words they spoke.
See, growing up, one thing I have witnessed and stayed mindful of was the challenge leaders have with control. When we are so close to something that we do not want to give up control for fear that someone will come along and either destroy it or take it away from us. We treat our projects or visions like children because after all we have labored over it and ultimately given birth to it, therefore, never would we want anyone to come along and kill what we labored over, nurtured, and birthed (given life to). The challenge is knowing this, keeping this in mind, to maintain an exit plan or strategy to help one move away from the “fire” to have an objective view of this vision so it will continue to grow and prosper.
For DCC, as the founder and visionary, I have worked with potential Board members over the past year, going through a vetting process to understand who I can trust to lead this ministry and help it and me grow. As leaders, we must understand and remember that we are always in the need for growth and development, if never stops. The individuals, I sat with yesterday, I admit, I did not reveal all what God what show or reveal during my time of prayer, but one thing I will say is that each person brings what I and the ministry needs to move forward – true leadership with accountability and support. That accountability and support also come in the form of not agreeing with every decision being made, asking hard questions, pushing back/challenging decisions, and even allowing me to fail or getting close to it so I can learn a lesson then talking with me through the process.
Their support is an example of true leadership as well. When we have something going on, they show up, not just to have their name attached but to ensure we as an organization succeed. They are always thinking of ways to help us succeed in addition to ensuring I am maintaining the proper work-life balance which also affects how we succeed.
Let’s not forget my very important part as a leader…transparency and vulnerability. As I stated, as leaders, we like to try to control everything as we think no one else can take care of our stuff as we can, but the truth is, they can. The challenge is for us to be transparent and vulnerable enough to admit where our weaknesses are. Then seek those strengths in others and allow them to help us and keep us accountable to further support us in growth and mission.
I spent ten percent of my time in one hundred areas which are completely inefficient while working to find my team, the right processes, and the right programs. Quite frankly it was beyond frustrating, in part because I knew better, but I wouldn’t have this testimony to share to help someone else, I had not gone through it. (That is just how God uses my life). The results…through being honest, transparent, and vulnerable I learned not only what worked but how and why.
I understand what I will and will not do, what I like and do not like, my true strengths, and weakness. Why is this important? Because there are some areas that I will need more accountability than others, therefore MUST turnover to a Board member and report to them at least once of month. For example, while there is a task I can manage, I quite honestly prefer not to do it therefore it becomes a lower priority yet essential to the operation. (Honesty). I sat with my team and went through this, also understanding who is not only strongest at this but will give me the toughest time in accountability (Transparency and vulnerability), so that is who I will not be reporting to. I gave up control to not only make myself better but also for the sake of the ministry. And for taking my time managing the task, I will “eat” the cost of having it professionally done before handing it over to my new leadership. (accountability).
In all areas of the organization, there will be a system of checks and balances. This does not negate DCC is a ministry, for me, I believe that God has given me to operate in while on this Earth. Do all the members of my Board operate in ministry? NO, probably not according to the organized church, but each has a God-given gift that is needed for this ministry. According to the Word of God it was always designed for the people to live in community and care for one another. Therefore, each would bring their gifts together to provide for one another. What one had would help where one did not have, thus here we are with the leadership at DeeCilla Comfort Center, where one lacks, another has helped us to remain whole to go forth and help others.
It has to start with the admittance of one knowing, understanding, and admitting where help is needed…This is how we grow stronger!
